期末テスト始まる（中３生はまだですが…）
今日から大門中学校の期末テストが始まりました（3年生は24日・25日に期末テストに変更になりました）早く終わってほしいですね！テスト期間中は、僕も少し暗くつらい気持ちになってしまいます。
「頑張るのは生徒・オレは教えるのみ」と心では理解しているつもりなのですが、いざ頑張っている生徒さんを目の前にすると、やっぱり力が入ってしまいます。
自分がテストを受けるよりも緊張してしまいます。何年たってもこの気持ちは変わりません。
期末テストでさえこのありさまなのに、入試が近づいたらどうなるのだろう… 数年前に2月に友達の結婚式が長野県であったのですが、招待されたのですが僕は辞退してしまいました。とてもそんな気分にはなれず、中3生と格闘していました。
年末あたりから高校入試・大学入試が終わるまでは気が抜けません。なかなか気分が晴れず、気分転換もあまりしないので、毎年入試間近になると心身ともに疲れ果ててきます。
入試が終わると「やったぁ、やっと終わった！」というよりも「何とか入試まで授業ができて良かった…」と燃え尽き症候群のようになります。
これは性格の問題なので、この仕事をしている限り治らないでしょう。それでも僕は教える仕事が好きです。苦痛とはあまり感じません。
今は期末テストに集中。明日の授業準備をしてから寝ます。
2022年11月22日 22:57
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